On offering insight without expectation

I recently had a conversation with a client where I was asked if I had any ideas. Sure, I thought to myself, I have many brilliant ideas and with my background you will love all of them. And then I proceeded to offer, what I thought was, a brilliant idea, and paused (mostly to pat myself on the back).

What I heard back came as a surprise, though in hindsight, it should not have surprised me. My client said to me that idea did not work for him at all. He had great reasons for this. It was something he could commit to long term, it was not aligned with his ways of working, and it felt like a very major tweak to his way of running. In golf metaphors, it felt like he was changing his swing mid-game.

While his rejection of my (seemingly brilliant) idea surprised me, I did not feel rejected by his communication. I acknowledged his context and we continued with our brainstorming till we hit upon an idea that worked perfectly well for his swing mechanics without ruining his game, as it were (another golf metaphor).

On further reflection of this moment, I realised that providing a space for people to express themselves freely and comfortably is key to a successful coaching relationship. Offering insights and ideas without attaching my identity to them, helps people think through whether those insights work for them or not with ease.

On to having more ideas rejected freely by clients.